My Cat "Pounce"

Colin P. Fahey

My cat, "Pounce".

Some people don't believe the claims I make about my cat "Pounce", but I happened to get some candid photos of my cat which I'd like to share with you.

Pounce with one of my W-2 forms, helping me prepare my tax return.

Pounce is not only my cat, he is also an expert in tax law. For example, I was not aware that I could claim Pounce himself as: a war veteran, farm, charitable donation, disabled dependent, and business losses -- all simultaneously. According to Pounce's estimates, the IRS owes me somewhere in the neighborhood of $387 billion, which would easily establish me as the richest person in the world.

Pounce explaining basic stock indicators to me during a pause in his "day trading".

My eyes glaze over when Pounce tries to explain the basics of the stock market. Pounce is on the computer from 5:30 A.M. to 2 P.M. every day (Pacific time), watching multiple charts and real-time reports. Pounce has a domestic portfolio worth a few hundred billion dollars, and he prefers bio-tech and aerospace stocks. Actually, I think Pounce is too aggressive, always going after short-term gains in very risky, speculative technologies. I don't like to watch Pounce during trading hours. He looks too wired, and he's always meowing angrily at the computer screen -- like it would make any difference. And then there's the after-hours trading, and the overseas markets... It's hard to get quality family time with Pounce when he has the investment bug.

Pounce resetting a "circuit breaker", whatever that is.

One day I had the electric oven, range, clothes iron, heater, and halogen floor lamps all going at once. Then I fired up the waffle iron to prepare a late night snack -- and that's when it happened: all the lights went out! Everything seemed like it was in slow motion. I was so disoriented. I didn't know what was going on. I instinctively crouched on the floor and curled up in to a ball, praying for the lights to come back. It seemed like an eternity, and I thought this was the end of the world. But, like a miracle, the lights came back on. I leaped up in joy. That's when I noticed that Pounce was clinging to some sort of panel on the wall. Pounce told me that I had too many appliances on at once, and that something that he called a "circuit breaker" made the lights go away for, get this, to prevent wires from melting and creating a fire! I told Pounce that this was a cute story, and that he is really imaginative, but that it was wrong to fib during a crisis situation.

Pounce in a trance.

Pounce is sometimes mesmerized by the silliest things. Pounce is rather unsophisticated during his "down time".

Well, that's about all there is to say about my cat Pounce. I hoped you liked seeing another distinctive cat in our family. Actually, Pounce enjoyed seeing the other cat pictures I received in my e-mail. (I told Pounce to get his own e-mail account, but he is a worse procrastinator than I am!)

Colin P. Fahey

cpfahey@earthlink.net

http://www.colinfahey.com